Who cares about your dumb little drawings?

I have found it hard lately to make things and post things, what with everything that is going on in the world. Last week, an Asian friend of mine was harassed on the street. Some stupid jerk white person telling her to go back to her own country. This is her country. Hate crimes are increasing. There have been two mass shootings in the last two weeks. Who is next? What is next? It could be any number of people in my family. It could be my bother-in -law, or my niece, or even my wife.

Also, over the summer, there were all these protest from friends of mine. Black Americans looking for equal treatment under the law. I din’t say anything. I live in my head sometimes. I didn’t make anything. What could I say? What could I make? That’s how I say things, through what I make. But my art is kind of silly, and everything around me is so serious.

I just do these dumb little drawings, and who cares? It’s not a very good environment for silliness. I worry that by the mere existence of my little joke art, that people will think I am sending some sort of message or that that I am trying to trivialize their suffering. It’s quite the opposite. My heart is breaking for all the unfairness in the world.

I know these problems aren’t about me. I just don’t have any other frame of reference than my own, selfish worldview. I am trying to be better. It’s oddly liberating to admit this, but I am part of the problem with the world. I am standing on the shoulders of the problem. I don’t know the details really. I never really paid attention in history class.

Come to think of it, I never really paid attention in art class either.

Am I really even paying attention now?

I create from my feelings. Right now I have a lot of them. I don’t know how to put something relevant into the world, given the context of everything that’s going on. All I have inside me are my own selfish little problems.

One thing that helps me sometimes is pretending I’m someone else, and then giving myself advice. Sometimes it’s easier to care about yourself if you just pretend that you’re someone else.

So, what would I tell someone like me?

I guess I would say that art is important, even silly frivolous stuff. Create from what you care about, and it’s hard to go wrong. And if you somehow find a way to elevate others, draw attention to problems in the world, or in the very least poke fun at these buffoons that spew discriminatory hate wherever they go… well, then. Do that. Create the art that is in you, not the art that you think you should make. The world needs a laugh as much as it needs a cry.

I guess I’ll have to take this advice. I will try to do something good with the pain and frustration. Maybe it actually will do some good somewhere.

Everyone out there listening; please be safe. Please help people. Please be kind. We can be better than all this.